The Confrontation

I never thought that it would happen this way.

It was a cloudy afternoon. I somehow sensed that it would rain, but I still didn't bring my umbrella with me. I thought that if ever the rain pours down, I'll be there at his house already, safe and sound.

When it started to drizzle, so I walked faster towards his home. Little did I know that it was a warning that I shouldn't have come there in the first place.

***

He opened the door and looked like he was surprised to see me. I guessed that he wasn't pleased at first, but then he smiled and immediately let me inside his house. He rushed towards his room and got a towel for me. He wrapped it around my shoulders let his arms stay there for a while. I felt his warmth. It felt good.

"You should've brought an umbrella," he said in a worrying tone, "you might catch a cold."

"I just wanted to see you, Max." I countered. "I haven't seen you in days!"

He gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Aww. I missed you too, Aya."

"But I didn't say that I miss you!" I laughed aloud, not minding my manners.

"You just did! Hahaha!!!" Max chuckled when I pinched his tummy. We laughed out loud together.

When our laughters died down, neither of us said a thing. I cleared my throat.

"I just want to clarify something."

He just nodded to signal me to go on. I held his hand that was resting on my shoulders and slowly shrugged it off, but not letting go of his hand. "You...I..."

His hand tried to slip away from mine, but I tightened my grip. "What kind of relationship do we have right now? I'm asking this because I'm really, really confused."

"Aya, I'm not in the mood to talk about this.." He stopped struggling but he wasn't looking at me.

"When would you be ready, then?" I asked, my voice becoming pitchy. "When you're 'in the mood'?"

"I really don't get it. We go out on dates, then we don't. Then we go out again. And then stop. On, off, on, off!!! One time you treat me like I'm the most important person in the world. And then suddenly you treat me like trash!!" I screamed at him, and my tears suddenly went out of my eyes. I let go of his hand, and started to punch him aimlessly, my fists hitting his chest and arms. He held my wrists and tried to stop me from struggling.

"Aya.. I'm..." He tried to say in between my struggles, "I'm sorry..I'm really..."

I stared at him with wide, surprised eyes.

"..really sorry..."

What he said was almost like a whisper, but it made me stop struggling from him. He released my wrists when I moved my fists down.

It's like admitting defeat, I guess. I wondered for nothing. I waited for nothing. He just confirmed it with his own mouth.

"But I used to--" I cut his sentence by pushing the towel that he lent me on his chest.

"Don't say a thing." I turned my back towards him and headed towards the door.

Deep inside me I was wishing that he'll take my arm and tell me not to go. But he didn't. I guess he really didn't care at all. I opened the door and paused for a while. But there's no turning back. I inhaled deeply and closed the door behind me.

It's still raining. But worse. Its cold drops added to my already shivering heart. I wrapped my arms around myself, as if it would help, but that's the only thing I have.

I started to walk back home. Each step was very hard to do, for I'm slowly walking away from where I wanted to be.

This isn't a break-up because there's nothing to break at all, I thought to myself.

...

But my heart was broken.

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This story is inspired by the song "Sorry" by Maria Mena. Listen to the song here. The rain influenced my mood too. I'll make a jolly one soon :)